The report comes to you from the first month of married life, but is such an important topic that I wanted to give it the full attention of its own post.
Last year, before we were engaged (we didn't have a single holiday season as an engaged couple), my ex-boyfriend-now-husband and I decided we were sick of being told Thanksgiving is a holiday. For other people, it is a holiday, and it's great for my mom that she thinks it is the best holiday all year. But it's not our style, for a list of reasons as long as my arm.
For the many years I spent being forced to participate in Thanksgiving, I resented my family and hated the holiday. Steve didn't resent it as much, but wasn't a fan. Last year we decided we'd spend the whole day at home, alone, and cook lasagna. This was instigated by my mother finally freeing me of my obligation to spend Thanksgiving with family (due to events the year before, which shall go unaccounted).
It was great. As soon as I wasn't being forced to partake in the traditions that mean nothing to me, I stopped dreading November and hating the beginning of the holidays. That first Nonthanksgiving was probably the reason I was even willing to set our wedding date in November. It also gave me the strength to say, "Hey, guess what? This is what we are always going to do, for as long as it keeps working for us."
A huge weight had been lifted. Our baby family has its first holiday tradition that is all ours: Lasagna for Nonthanksgiving. That's what we did this year, too -- Our First Married Nonthanksgiving. Before we made lasagna, we took the dog for a hike. We saw five deer, who appeared to be celebrating a Nonthanksgiving of their own. Truly a lovely afternoon. I hope to duplicate it next year.
The best thing is that I don't have to waste energy on hating Thanksgiving any more. No one can make me celebrate it. I have the security of a husband and of our own tradition, and I wish for us this scale of success on every holiday project.
