Actually, no one has tried to call me "Mrs." People who should know better keep addressing me as "Amy I.," though: women who kept their own last names, people who see my unchanged name on Facebook, family who could have damn well asked.
It isn't bothering me (yet...), and I've realized why. It's something I had forgotten between the time my parents ceased to be my guardians and getting married. When my parents were still in charge of my life, EVERYONE ALWAYS GOT MY LAST NAME WRONG.
I grew up with my mother, step-father, and half-brother. They all had one last name. I had another. I had only contemplated this in the context of, "Hey, I know that everyone can be happy with a different last name, so why change mine once married?" I had totally forgotten that schools, churches, and acquaintances consistently addressed me by my step-father's last name.
I only recalled this because I recently volunteered somewhere with a man who had attended my parents' (mom and step-dad) wedding. I had earlier introduced myself only as Amy, and when he realized who I was, he said, "Oh, Amy Lip[redacted]!" My last name isn't Lip-. My last name has never been Lip-. But in that moment I recalled how, for many years, my last name might as well have been Lip-, and how it just didn't matter. He knew who I was. And after he meets my husband he'll probably call me "Amy I." Or maybe he'll assimilate the knowledge of my last name -- my "maiden name" -- and assume it is in fact my married name, because it is different from that of my parents'. I don't know. Frankly, I don't think I care. I'm the only "Amy" on the volunteer roster. I don't think I'll get lost in the shuffle.
So all the mail turning up for "Amy I.," who doesn't live here? I guess I'm acclimated already. I thought it would be an angry process but it turned out not to be. It seems that I've remembered how to tolerate it.
